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Da fuq is this?
If I could accurately summarize my actual status in under 140 characters, without over-explaining myself, I would probably just want to say
I'm Scoresman, dammit
George is getting upset!
Jerry let’s face it. I’ve always been handicapped. I’m just now getting the recognition for it.
When you look annoyed all the time, people think that your busy.
I was in the pool!! I was In the pool!!
Who buys an umbrella anyway? You can get them for free at the coffee shop in the metal cans.
You know, if you take everything I've done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent
My life is the complete opposite of what I want it to be.
I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic. It’s a pleasure.
Is it my imagination, or do really good looking women walk a lot faster than everyone else?
If she can’t find me, she can’t break up with me...
I’m much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs.
What’s so great about a mom and pop store? Let me tell you something, if my mom and pop ran a store I wouldn’t shop there.